長痛不如短痛? 這樣真的對嗎?

我曾對他說過﹕“你一定要好好的珍惜她的存在﹗” 這樣的一句話﹐得到了幾乎所有在場者的支持。但他卻低著頭﹐ 讓我看到他的內疚感。
我一再重複同樣的一句話﹐ 只希望能至少說服他﹐嘗試開始真正的接受她。雖然只有那麼一句話﹐但它卻實實在在的反應出了大家眼中的偉大女孩。一心一意對他的特底付出。重來就沒有計較過任何的回報。

我長被問到﹕ “你真的認為他們能長久嗎?” 我不以為然的一笑置之﹐繼續一再提醒他﹐必需珍惜她﹐嘗試真真的以心對待她。只希望她能儘快的成為他名符其實的女朋友。我忍不住的道出﹕“ 他們要是真的玩完了﹐一定是他的決定﹗” 這並不意為著我責備他的霸道﹐ 我只在讚揚著她那不求回報的愛。 我看到了她的真心﹐更希望她的那顆真心不會被封印起來。這也是唯一能解釋為何我會那麼在意他們兩人的關係。要知道﹐ 我不是月老﹐不會特意牽紅線。

心是脆弱的。受過傷的真心的的確確是會特底的被冷凍﹐並寄存在那看不到底的深井內﹐極大可能一輩子也不會再被釋放。沒了溫度的真心﹐ 會讓男生選擇成為花花世界里的痞子男。失去真心的女生﹐或許也會變成這無知世界中的一朵交際花。撈不回真心的男女﹐ 更可能一生不會再有戀愛﹐只有到了適婚年齡才尋找一個適合成為伴侶的結婚對象﹐ 來共度晚年。

他決定還她自由了。她那被解放的真心也頓時失去了溫懷。被凍著是無可厚非的﹐直到她能學習堅強的接受稱呼他為朋友為止。

一段戀情﹐沒有絕對的所謂誰對誰錯。這逼近是你情我願的事。但我始終認為﹐一段戀情的結合﹐是存在著兩個部份的結晶体- ‘愛’ 和‘ 熱誠’。 ‘熱誠’會隨著時間的流失而漸漸減弱。當任何一方的‘熱誠’消失時﹐往往就是一段戀情結束的開始。 可惡的是﹐一段戀情的失去﹐卻往往帶不走其中的‘愛’。也因如此﹐愛得越深﹐就註定會傷的越痛。

這時﹐身邊的人藉著‘長痛不如短痛’的名義﹐建議他要狠下決心﹐與她劃清界限。 我不敢說這是錯的提議﹐但我始終覺得實在不應該是這樣。 正如我所說的。‘愛’是不會因為一段戀情的結束而消失的。

Valentine's Day 情人节

Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of

 both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. The Catholic

 Church recognizes at least three different saints named

 Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who 

served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor 

Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers 

than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage

 for young men — his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine,

 realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and 

continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. 

When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius 

ordered that he be put to death.

历史上的情人节-和它的守护神-是神秘的及擁有眾多的傳說。但現今

年代所慶祝的2月份情人節其實都含有基督教和古罗马天主教的传统

。  天主教会承认至少有三个不同的圣人命名为情人或瓦伦提诺

(Valentine or Valentinus)，所有的聖人都是被杀害的。

傳說中有位在第三世纪在罗马担任神父的圣人命名为情人或瓦伦提诺

(Valentine or Valentinus)。 当時的皇帝克劳迪乌斯二世决定，為

了取得更好的士兵並覺得单身男子比那些有妻子和家庭的男士更為適

合，所以禁止年轻男人結婚。圣人情人覺得那是不適合的法令，无视

克劳迪乌斯和继续秘密履行年轻恋人的證婚儀式。 克劳迪乌斯在發現

圣人情人的舉動後下令将他处死。而后人為了紀念圣人情人的犧牲﹐

便開始了以他名Valentine定為情人節Valentine's Day。

~Patience , Trust and Respect~

I have to congratz you to be so strong than ever

As well I have to congratz myself to turn to be stronger than ever finally

You are still passing by in my mind

Nearly every night whenever I am laying on bed

But I selected to find myself a way and get in sleep

Rather than disturb you with sms or a call

Even that I might keep my eyes opened until the sun raised and hit my skin hot

Its all just to keep my promise with you – Patience

I know I am still holding you tightening, deep inside my heart

I am finally changed

Cos I know that your luv is still the same

And I believe oso as long as you aren’t busy anymore

Yet that will be the starting point for our 2^nd run within our relation

This believing keeps me alive

And inspirited me whenever I open my eyes

Oso, its all just to keep my promise with you - Trust

You are my better half

No one can replace you

Even you had successfully hidden yourself up from me

And when I say so

Its mean that my heart is totally sealed

No one else will be able to gain the passkey again

No anymore door is available

For whosoever else

I wouldn’t appear to be with you closely physically

Until I am allowed to do so

I won’t disturb your life with whatsoever way

Until I know that there is with a free slot in your timetable

That is actually available for me to do so

Again, its all just to keep my promise with you – Respect

I am finally changed

And I am prepared to be single forever

I will pray for you always

But I still want you to promise me

Really take care of yourself

This is the only thing that I really want you to promise with

I am worrying about your health

And you know this n why

I am not only said but promise definitely let you in

And I want to remind you

Just appear and push on me

Whenever you are ready

I am ready for it always

Yet will keep myself free and waiting for it

The expired date?

The rest of my life

And I swear

My left-back side neck

I touched my left-back side neck again,
Begins to ache,
Soon I am feeling sweet,
A sweet kiss lay on this spot,
Yet I know that I will feel great always whenever I have my hand touching on this spot,
I can feel you with me with your kiss.

Sometimes I ask myself, 
how much furthere will I have to go?
Agains, I do not know,
and no one can tell.
I hide my trembling feeling again,
And pretend smile when looking ppl around me.

Suddenly I feel that I am getting really old now,
Still I’m the same as before,
As timid as before,
Learning how to pretend to be strong,
Hardly to really get learned.

I will never let you gone,

Even I had myself physically gone,
You are the one who show me what love look like, 
And I will spend the rest of my life to show,
Show that the love found within us is really real,
Real until nothing can remove you from my heart,
Even you yourself.

Life is always busy and this is what I knew from you,
Trust me I will never get angry with your busy life,
Do whatever you planed to do,
Work whatever you need to work,
I am always here for you,
And you will never be alone.

Love itself is not enough,
Must come with pattiance, trust and respect.
I am learning hard,
And will keep learning…..

给娱乐圈经理人的歌

Lyrics & Singing: depresster (AlexWE)
Composer: CREA & DAI (Original Song "HANABI")


人们常常来问我，究竟什么人该爱。
我傻笑傻眼在回望，心里矛盾摸不去。

我心中其实早已有了着岸，而那人让我看到真真的爱。
可是她确是一名著名艺人。工作的时间很长，又不固定。
再加上她身边的一名经理，简直像看门狗，将她关紧。
一分一秒的自由都不给她，让她与外世隔绝，无法联系。

我只想见面，但却比登天还难。
问她，她就说很忙。
每次告诉我她经理人关她，将她管得很紧。
OH~YEAH！~

娱乐圈的规矩我不懂，我只想让经理们了解。
艺人不是你们的宠物，任由你们控制摆布。

为什么艺人就不能够交朋友，拥有一些时间搞搞私事。
为什么艺人就不能够放任，拥有机会去拥抱相爱的人。

请你们想像两个相爱的人，一年只见一次面。
还必须忍着，等到她经理放假。
才能够相聚。

我恳求娱乐圈里的所有经理人，给点自由好不好。
不要将艺人关得太紧。 OH~ YEAH！~
这样会很痛苦。 OH~ YEAH！~

请你们想想，艺人也是个人。
不是你们的宠物。
如果你们就真那么霸道，
那这世就成什么样。
WOOW~ YEAH！~

Happy valentine?!

Year ago I did received your sms during valentine’s
night and your call on the Friday of valentine week. I was surprised when I saw
the caller’s number was somewhere from a local HP, and kept asking you about
your real location during that time. You did told me that you are still remind
in your country and apologized that you were busy-which is always the reason
what make you hardly to be contacting by nearly every way. We missed our
valentine for the very first time, but I did not feel bad at all. I knew that
you will feel great whenever you had my valentine’s gift received, yet I am
rewarded by your call and your lovely voice with some love chat with me. This
is the valentine which I was stayed alone at home without holding a girl’s hand
along, but this is also my happiest valentine ever in my whole life. The reason?!
I found someone that is able to conquer my lonely heart totally with the power
of true love.  I told myself that I must be preparing for any valentine in
future.  Your life is always busy and I should be the one to work hard for
our happiness.

This year, I did started to hunt for your valentine gift once after the new
year began, when everyone was still wishing each others ‘Happy new year
2007.." I did wrap myself with new hair style on the last few pieces of January
calendar slip. A style that even the hair stylist felt nothing much to deal
with my hair after listened my order -"Do not touch my hair in front and
back down side." I knew that you will like it when I keep my hair long. I
am romance even I knew that romantic is something ridiculous in your busy life,
but I keep it in deal with my way just because I am always attempting whatever
my heart told me to be for the one who hold my real soul and heart.

A day after I had my new hair style in set. I did call you and we had yet
had some msn chat. During the chat session I had been informed that you are now
too busy for any relations. I told you that I do understand as I really am. You
told me as well that you will feel bad if you know anyone turned to be sad just
because of your life. I told you that I will just keep my promise "Trust …
Respect … Patience …" no matter how. I decided to touch nothing more
about valentine day celebration in the chat session during that time; just
because of I do not want you to feel bad. Your time for me now is far lesser
than before and I just want to treasure every second with you and filling it with
happiness and exciting. Again, I had my hour long bath just after that chat session.

I had your gift sent but got returned. Your new address is too simple to be
used. I really don’t know that when can I passing the gift to you now, and I am
really guilty. I told myself that I must spend the valentine night to accompany
my dear with chat or phone for the very least, since it is hardly for us to
celebrate together.  I did wait for the whole night but you were not here.
I did call you several times but were not answered. It seem like a lovely sms
to me is really too expensive for you to spend nowadays. Maybe just as what you
said you are not allowed to call or sms me. But don’t you just sms me for some
general question days before? 

I am wondering what I should do to make our relation back to be alive like
before. Perhaps I am now not again qualify to be your ‘Lover’ but only your so
call ‘ Soul Mate’ . Perhaps I am not again to be the one who deserved to receive
your ‘lovely words or lovely calls’ but only msn chat whenever you are bore at
home. 

I must stop thinking now. Again I will go for another hour long bath now, and
let my tears flow away in bathroom. When I stepping out from bath room later, I
will just remind myself with my promise " Be patience to wait, no
matter how long time it will be… Respects your busy life and every of your
single decision… Trust in you and believe in true love that linked us together,
without asking too much or suspecting your faith in our relation so far …"

I did my pledge to God that I will take only you for the rest of my life and I promised
to God that I am willing to face any suffering and challenges as long as I know
that your life is turning better and better. I might feel bad always but I will
never get angry. My tears might fall always but I will never give up. Even one
day when you totally disappeared from my life, yet I will just keep myself
single and sit aside to read your blog and mine. And keep praying for your
better life to be.

I always believe that loving someone is far more important that being loved by
others. And I know that my heart will never abandon you without any exception
for the rest of my life.  

Don’t worry about me. I will just spend my hour in bath room whenever I am hurt. I will regain the power to fight for our relation again whenever I am out from bath room.  As for my family members and friends,  please remember to free me from asking too much. Please allow me to spend more time in bath room as well, and do not knock my door whenever I am not ready yet for a smile again. 

~Ray~ The Only Angel

Still remember who is Ray? The one who introduced you to me. The one that you was first contacted with before you came to me. He told me that you was actually dropped him a message about me, but I cant remember what was inside that message that you sent to him via friendster mail.

The only thing that I can remember is , it was actually around 3 months time for me to get you for the very first time after the mail received.

No matter how, just as what you say. Ray is the only angel who found the real love to both of us. July 11th ...

The So Call 'Love' before knowing you

I am a sentimental person and only my mum know about it. The reason? I looked strong in everyone eyes. I looked relaxing whenever there is a problem arrives. I looked happily around always, and I almost forgot when was my last tear to drop.

I can manage my previous relations very well. My time mostly were spent together with my friends indeed of the girls with me. Every Wednesday will be my only dating day to my previous girls and they wont appear long or always in my mind.

I was wondering why people always suffering with love. To me its just something really simply to suit with. Once miss them just contact them. Once been missed and I have no activities at all,yet I will just leave my time to them. This was the way I used to be, when come to any relation with any girl.

Though feeling at first, the only one I can remember is Eileen. She was together with me for more than year and was left me few months before I knowing you. But she came back to me again, yet left this world forever due to a robbery attempted to her and took away her life on Oct 29th, 2005. I was sad and cried for her for several weeks of time after the tragedy.




I was believed that I was cried for her disappearance during that period of time, but I was drop no tears when I visiting her house at this Chinese new year. Perhaps I was really crying for her leaving on that day, but now I realized that the real reason make me unable to keep my tears behind my eye ball weeks after, is simply because I was been told by you that you might forced to be with someone else once, came to the month of Nov.

She was became a 'reason' for me to cry with. In fact, you are the only one which my tear will always aiming to.